Special Pages

Friday, October 1, 2021

Confidential to Florida Men: Don't Try This at Home

A Florida Man story that Mrs. Graybeard shared with me this morning. 

It worked out well, but as you see, the "professionals" are pretty adamant about not trying this at home.  He did it all wrong.  The fact that it worked out doesn't matter.

I think the common version is, "if it seems stupid but it works, it isn't stupid." I just don't think I'd be trying this.

 


6 comments:

  1. We don't have gators here, but it never ceases to amaze me that people will try and pet deer, elk, bison, and >GASP< Bears.

    We have big cats, too, but you rarely see them, and by the time you do, it might be too late.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Shaking my head at thought of trying to pet a bear. Seems that every year, we see film of some tourist trying to pet a bison and getting hammered.

      But mountain lions? They're probably the ultimate stealth hunter. Your first sighting of the panther is probably gonna be when their jaws close around your throat.

      Delete
    2. Let me correct that a bit; They're usually trying to pet the cute little cuddly bear cubs when Mamma Bear shows up out of nowhere, roaring and charging them at 30MPH.

      Not gonna be a good day when that happens.....

      Delete
    3. We have that in Florida occasionally. Florida Black Bears, the mangy ones and the unmangy ones are not exactly friendly. And people try to feed them. Fortunately it's only snowbirds that do that, so, well, who cares, right?

      As to Florida Panther attacks... It would explain some of the possible missing people in Florida stories. Some idiot goes hiking and completely disappears. Could be panthers, could be gators, could be bears, could be wild hogs (one of the major ways of death amongst children in the middle ages that weren't disease related was... hog deaths.) The average mid-sized porker has no problem snuffling up a baby or toddler, and no problem munching on an adult. A whole sounder of hogs can strip a corpse quicker than vultures, of which we have lots here also.

      Yet to hunt hogs on state or fed land requires permits and seasons. Private land? Not so much, just need permission from landowner.

      Delete
  2. When I was at Tampa (military service) the old rule of thumb was that if there was a puddle of water (anywhere), there was a gator in it. I found the rule to be sound.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's the first rule.

      The second one is "gators have the right of way." Don't mess with gators "... for thou art crunchy when roasted and taste good with ketchup."

      Delete