Random Nuclear Strikes has a great one today:
However, if this is the new rule, than I am correct to understand that more legislation is in order.
We have a right to keep and bear arms. Bill of Rights, Amendment #2.
According to the new rules on “Rights”, this means that each and every citizen now has a “Responsibility” to purchase a firearm so that they may “Keep and Bear” it, lest their fellow citizens be burdened with having to put themselves in danger by defending those who are not responsible enough to purchase their own.
To not file new legislation as an Amendment to the new law and vote FOR it under the now ongoing “fixing” of the new law, is to either be the ultimate hypocrite or admit that fines cannot be levied upon those who do not wish to pay for use of their “Rights”.
This gives me an idea for a letter to my Senator, the Wretched, Useless, Bill Nelson, who voted for this abortion (seems like the right word).
You voted, against the will of the majority of your constituents, for this health care monstrosity. I know I personally contacted you a half dozen times to urge you not to vote for it, but let's let bygones be bygones. This law certainly is a "game changer", that's for sure!
So let me get this straight: you've established that health care is a right and passed a law that mandates people are responsible to buy a product (insurance) to fill that right so that they don't have to depend on the good, productive people who already buy that product. For people who can't afford it, subsidies up to the full amount are available - paid for by those same people who buy the product. Since a requirement wouldn't mean much without the threat of punishment, the IRS will hire a few thousand agents to enforce citizens buying that product. I read they ordered a boatload of Remington 870 shotguns to help in this.
This idea seems to have wider applications than just health care.
You need to sponsor and pass a law regarding the right to freedom of speech. I suggest you mandate every citizen be required to buy a computer and desktop publishing software so that they may exercise their freedom of speech and create newsletters. How about blogs? That way, they won't have to depend on the productive people who already own computers. Similarly, you could mandate we buy Bibles, or the religious document of our choice, so that we can practice our right to freedom of religion.
You need to sponsor and pass a law regarding the right to keep and bear arms. I suggest you mandate every citizen purchase a firearm so that they may “Keep and Bear” it, (we can make an exception for felons) so that their responsible fellow citizens won't be burdened with having to put themselves in danger to defend those who are not responsible enough to purchase their own.
I guess I should interject here that for all of the above purchases, there should be subsidies for those unable to afford their computer, or Bibles, or firearms, up the full amount of purchase, just like for health insurance.
It's difficult to come up with a product to mandate that would keep soldiers from being quartered in our houses, or a product that would prevent search and seizures, but you guys are clever. You found a right to health care that never existed in 235 years of the Republic, so you'll find something to mandate.
Come to think of it, you'll have your work cut out for you coming up with products to mandate we buy to protect us from testifying against ourselves, our right to due process and protection from double jeopardy. Perhaps we should be required to keep a lawyer on retainer! That's not a product, per se, but it would be swell, too.
Gosh. Trial by jury? Right to a speedy trial? Right to reasonable bail? Now these are really going to tax (hah!) your ability to define products we need to buy. But as I said before, I have confidence in you and your fellow senators ability to find ways to meddle.
Oh - one more thing. I pledge my life, my "fortune" and my sacred honor to make sure you're unemployed after this term.
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