‘Free range cannibalism’? Hearty mockery as blizzard-fearing NYC hipsters storm Whole FoodsSome favorites:
"911, what's your emergency?"And from our buddy Iowahawk, Dave Burge wins the Internets with:
"IT'S SNOWING AND WE'RE OUT OF KALE!"
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BREAKING: NYC Whole Foods runs out of ironic beverages; hipsters attempt to flee city; thousands of electric cars frozen on area highways.
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I just watched a woman cry in the empty kale aisle of the Tribeca Whole Foods. Life is a prison.
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Next big NYC foodie craze: free range cannibalism
New York City Mayor Bill "Che" Deblasio, rapidly increasing his competition with Michael Bloomberg for the title of Most Dependable Asshole in politics declared a “winter weather state of emergency” and essentially shut the city down. Just a bit of an overreaction, but probably has something to do with his pattern of not sending snow plows to wealthier neighborhoods. Or not.
Speaking of which, do you remember reading a while back that "the end of snow" was coming, and the stories that children born soon will never know snow in their lives? Like all climate alarmism, this has proven laughably wrong. Instead, Joseph D'Aleo, the chief forecaster for Weatherbell Analytics, points out this decade, just hitting the halfway point, is the snowiest decade in the NOAA records on the east coast.
“Assuming this storm gets ranked by NOAA as one of the high impact (population affected by snowstorm) snowstorms (likely since the November storm was), we will have had 14 major impact storms this decade (only half over) beating out the 10 in the 1960s and 2000s,” Joseph D’Aleo, CCM (Certified Consulting Meteorologist), told Climate Depot on Monday.Go 20-teens! That's pretty impressive.
I did my stock-up before the storm shopping last Friday, and topped off the tank of my car very early Sunday morning.
ReplyDeleteThe only thing I neglected to pick up was some Good Seasons salad dressing mix. Not to worry, I'll raid the spice cabinet and concoct my own unique salad dressing recipe.
Is there someplace we can make contributions for emergency deliveries of kale and arugula?
ReplyDeleteAlien,
ReplyDeleteHave you considered using drones to make the delivery?
I've never lived in a house that didn't have either home canned food on a shelf in the basement...or just plain store bought cans of food on a shelf in the basement. Not talking preppers here...just normal folk buying stuff on sale.
ReplyDeleteSo...I'm amused and perplexed by people that feel the need to "stock up" when a snow "event" is on the way.
Even here in SW Ohio, where we get snow on a regular basis, a forecast of 2-3" of snow is enough to cause the stores to run out of bread. What the frack???
LCB - I'm with you. Growing up in the hurricane zone, it was just something we did. Everyone had kerosene lanterns and sterno to cook on, along with the canned foods to heat up. Why run to the store?
ReplyDeleteSame in New England. Back in the fifties and sixties, everyone I knew kept a deep pantry, because it wasn't unusual for snowstorms to actually shut down the highways. Trucks couldn't get through and folks couldn't get to the stores.
ReplyDeleteWe had hurricanes there in New York, too, on Long Island. I remember one storm where there was no electricity for several weeks. Candles, lanterns, cooking food on Sterno cans. Generators were rare, but necessary when you had a well for water instead of "city" water, unless you had a hand pump, as my grandparents did.